it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
