Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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