You can't motorboat a personality
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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