My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
