my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
third nipple confirmed
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
