It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
