I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize