Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And then he peed in my hair
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