first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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