She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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