therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
