So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
