My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
