Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
