I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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