We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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