so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
