Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
