it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
