You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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