i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
