It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
