I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
