If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
