i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
