So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
