I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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