she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
