I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
