he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
