the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
