Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize