I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize