I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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