yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
