No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
