youre lurking in front of me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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