I haven't been this sober since birth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
