You smell like a Billy Joel song
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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