I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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