That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
