I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
