so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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