You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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