i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
