just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
