***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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