He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
