A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
