you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
