I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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