he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
