We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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