is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
