oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
