I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
