Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
